Schein On

Oona Metz on Grief, Shame, and Transformation

Evan interviews therapist and author Oona Metz about her book, ‘Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women’, focusing on divorce grief, stigma and shame (including for initiators), isolation, and the value of support groups and community. They question whether “until death do us part” sets unrealistic expectations, discuss equitable partnership and hard premarital conversations, and explore when post-divorce survival becomes transformation through letting go and emotional processing alongside the legal and financial process.
 
Oona’s book: https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Unhitched/Oona-Metz/9781668075388
 
Topics
00:19 Podcast Intro and Season Kickoff
01:01 July 4 Reflections and Knicks Hype
04:31 Fireworks Talk and Guest Tease
05:47 Fourth of July Playlist Draft
07:03 Music Memories Through Divorce
12:01 Summer Routines and Co-Parenting
14:35 Overrated Underrated Begins
15:03 Custody Flexibility and Real Life
16:50 Dating During Divorce Debate
18:21 Fun Picks Zoos and Delivery Apps
22:45 Fireworks Verdict and Wrap
24:04 Interview Starts Oona Metz
24:30 Grief for the Divorce Initiator
26:08 Redefining Marriage and Vows
31:26 Designing a Modern Marriage Contract
32:53 Hard Conversations Before Marriage
33:39 Stress Tests Before Marriage
36:12 Expectations and Relationship Myths
39:37 Why She Wrote Unhitched
42:20 Writing Lessons and Shame
45:24 Deciding Whether to Divorce
47:50 Isolation and Finding Community
55:50 From Surviving to Transformed
01:02:53 They Said It Quote Game
01:11:55 Final Wrap and Where to Buy

Sleep, Relationships, and the Myth of “Sleep Divorce” with Dr. Wendy Troxel

Evan opens episode 102 by discussing co-parenting logistics around summer camp during divorce, then introduces the episode’s focus on sleep and relationships with guest Dr. Wendy Troxel, a sleep scientist and clinical psychologist. On the docket, Evan argues most “blindside divorces” reflect long-standing issues, and he frames “pickleball divorce” as a relationship problem, not a sport problem. In overrated/underrated, Evan calls expert witnesses and early prenup discussions underrated, and labels the Stanley Cup and Costco parking lots overrated. Troxel explains sleep is a social behavior, addresses stigma around sleeping separately, outlines the bidirectional cycle between sleep loss and relationship conflict, and recommends communication strategies and a nightly phone-free ritual (high-low-compliment). She notes divorce can disrupt sleep architecture, prioritizing sleep regularity and support, and criticizes the term “sleep divorce,” citing data that 31% of couples sleep apart occasionally.
 
Topics
00:49 Summer Camp Co-Parenting
03:46 Sleep Episode Setup
04:55 Docket Blindside Divorce
07:17 Docket Pickleball Drama
10:43 Overrated Underrated Begins
10:59 Expert Witnesses Matter
12:51 Prenups Early Talk
14:19 Sports And Costco Rants
18:49 Sponsor Break
20:40 Interview Dr Wendy Troxel
23:12 Social Sleep And Stigma
25:24 Sleep and Relationship Health
26:22 Sleep Communication Loop
28:34 Therapy and Sleeping Apart
31:23 Stigma and Sleep History
34:33 Dating and Chronotypes
37:28 How to Talk About Sleep
39:03 Divorce and Sleep Recovery
42:11 Sleep Divorce Explained
44:58 Gender Differences in Sleep
47:49 Kids and Family Sleep Habits
49:54 Nightly Ritual for Connection
52:28 They Said It Quotes Game
58:18 Infant Sleep Side Topic
01:00:10 Final Wrap and Thanks
 

Dr. Rachel Glik on Family Estrangement & the Psychology of No Contact

Guest Dr. Rachel Glik returns to examine family estrangement, social media’s influence, misconceptions parents have, trauma language, reconciliation steps, when reconciliation may be unsafe, grieving “living loss,” healing despite no contact, pain-to-growth reframing, and forgiveness, reacting to quotes from Anne Lamott, Mark Twain, and Leo Tolstoy.
Topics
03:51 Whats on the Docket
04:13 Gray Divorce Reframed
06:34 Co Parenting After Divorce
09:44 Kids See It Coming
11:39 Overrated Underrated
15:17 Mini Golf Red Flags
17:03 Sponsor Break
18:59 Dr Rachel Glick Returns
19:38 Estrangement Trend Explained
21:26 Social Media Therapy Speak
22:06 Parents Blind Spots
23:31 Trauma Labels And Tolerance
24:58 Reconciliation Done Right
26:38 When Reconnection Is Unsafe
28:05 Grieving A Living Loss
30:07 Healing Without Contact
31:49 Pain Into Growth Steps
35:26 Apologies And Forgiveness
37:57 Boundaries With Compassion
39:46 They Said It Quotes Game
48:12 Closing And Final Thoughts

Episode 100! A Healthier Divorce with Allison O’Brien

Evan and Producer Dave celebrate episode 100 of the Schein On podcast, reflecting on the show’s focus on human stories behind divorce and relationships and previewing guest Allison O’Brien. On the docket, they discuss Carl Pavano’s public prenup fight and how divorce litigation can become humiliating and permanent, especially for children. Allison O’Brien, a communication and leadership development consultant, explains damaging myths about communication, including assumptions about listening and body language, and stresses preparing to listen, using inquiry, and asking strong open-ended questions. She connects listening to leadership trust and workplace wellbeing, shares her TED Talk experience about growing up in a high-conflict divorce and later navigating an amicable divorce and friendship with her ex for her children’s sake, argues divorce isn’t necessarily failure, and warns that blame and ego fuel conflict while collaboration can improve outcomes.
 
More on Allison: https://www.lq-listeningintelligence.com/
 
Topics
00:44 Episode 100 Milestone
01:17 Why This Podcast Exists
04:07 Meet Allison OBrien
04:57 Docket Pavano Prenup Drama
06:19 Divorce Gets Personal Public
09:34 Overrated Underrated Begins
10:03 Winning The Divorce Myth
13:22 Reconciliation After Separation
14:43 Food Trucks Take
16:35 Road Trips Relationship Test
23:01 Allison On Listening Myths
25:51 Intent Versus Impact
28:06 Preparing To Listen
32:34 Listening As Leadership
36:05 Workplace Connection Research
39:10 From Work To Divorce
39:22 Her TED Talk Vulnerability
40:00 Fear Before the Talk
41:15 Pride in Amicable Divorce
42:38 Why Divorce Choices Matter
44:36 Breaking the Conflict Cycle
52:41 Childhood Scars and Shame
56:21 Redefining Divorce Success
01:00:39 Blame and Emotional Inertia
01:03:30 Ego Free Co Parenting
01:06:56 Divorce as Leadership
01:09:49 Quotes on Listening Clarity
01:15:57 Knowing People Better
01:20:12 Wrap Up and Thanks

Robi Schlaff on Domestic Violence & How to Help

The guest is Robi Schlaff, former director of the Westchester County Office for Women and executive director of the Westchester Family Justice Center, who explains building coordinated domestic violence and child abuse initiatives, including a Domestic Violence High Risk Team and multidisciplinary investigations, and the challenges of implementing policy across agencies and police. She critiques family court delays and discontinuous hearings, addresses misconceptions about domestic violence risk and offender presentation, discusses burnout boundaries, shares a survivor’s courageous public testimony, and advises friends and neighbors not to urge leaving but to connect victims with experts or call police if in immediate danger.
 
Topics
02:32 The Docket Dear Annie
03:39 Supporting Friends After Divorce
08:40 What Not To Say
11:40 Overrated Staying For Kids
14:02 Prenup Infidelity Clauses
15:50 Reputation In Divorce
16:50 Mocktails And Divorce
18:17 Inventing A Show Mocktail
19:39 Margarita Banter
20:05 Museum Gift Shop Debate
24:27 Meet Robi Schlaff 
25:06 Making Change in Government
26:09 What Makes Policy Work
28:37 Family Court Fixes
32:49 Misconceptions in DV Cases
36:06 Public Risks and Outreach
38:39 Burnout and Boundaries
43:41 Leadership Secret Sauce
45:20 Survivor Courage Story
47:11 What Neighbors Should Do
48:27 Episode Wrap and Thanks

Filmmaker Elizabeth Lo on ‘Mistress Dispeller’ & Infidelity

Evan interviews award-winning director Elizabeth Lo about her documentary Mistress Dispeller, following Teacher Wang’s work with a wife, husband, and mistress in China, and explores empathy, cultural “saving face,” legal/ethical challenges, filmmaking style, and the documentary marketplace.
 
Topics
00:46 Season Intro and Guest Tease
01:17 Producer Banter and Setup
02:40 On the Docket: Shaq Divorce
04:14 Kids and Divorce Reflections
07:46 Parenting After Separation
10:22 Overrated/Underrated Begins
10:50 Legal Takes Business and CPAs
13:56 Co Parenting Communication Rules
15:54 Fun Picks Cornhole and Photobooths
20:38 Introducing Elizabeth Lo
21:29 Mistress Dispeller Origin Story
22:31 Teacher Wang Philosophy on Pain
23:59 Cheating Husbands Beyond Villains
26:01 Wives Culture and Saving Face
27:36 Directing Without Taking Sides
30:00 Editing With Restraint
30:20 Could It Work In The West
31:56 Legal And Ethical Minefields
34:01 Reconsent And Participant Protection
35:27 Mistress Beyond Villainy
36:43 What Mistress Dispelling Reveals
38:14 Participant Reactions And Trust
40:23 Filmmaking Style And Craft
42:15 Motivation And Doc Market Shift
44:19 Monogamy Love And Reflection
47:20 Future Love Stories
49:04 They Said It Quotes Segment
56:28 Documentary As Poetry
01:01:00 Wrap Up And Farewell
 

'Women Money Power’ Author Josie Cox

Evan delves into the complex world of divorce and relationships, spotlighting how financial dynamics impact these processes. The episode features an insightful discussion with journalist and author Josie Cox, who talks about her article on the rise in divorce rates when women out-earn men and her new book, 'Women Money Power: The Rise and Fall of Economic Equality.' The conversation covers the psychological and financial aspects of divorce, societal expectations, and the gender pay gap. Additionally, the episode presents the popular segment 'Overrated Underrated' and explores recent headlines in the world of divorce and family law.
 
Topics
00:38 Season Six Kickoff and Reflections
03:54 Explosive Divorce Headlines
10:13 Overrated or Underrated: Divorce Edition
19:41 Interview with Journalist Josie Cox
28:38 Generational Shifts in Financial Dynamics
29:25 The Surprising Conservatism of Younger Generations
32:10 The Evolving Perception of Prenuptial Agreements
35:27 Financial Literacy and Gender Inclusion
39:42 The Gender Pay Gap: A Deep Dive
46:21 Addressing Gender Inequality in Professional Sports
52:00 Closing Thoughts and Future Directions
53:01 Fun Segment: They Said It

Dr. Pepper Schwartz: The Future of Relationships & Love

A rich conversation with Dr. Pepper Schwartz, an acclaimed sociologist, sexologist, and bestselling author. Dr. Schwartz discusses the importance of communication and intimacy in relationships, debunks myths about sex and aging, and provides practical advice for individuals at different stages of life. The episode concludes with a segment called 'They Said It,' where Dr. Schwartz offers her perspectives on notable quotes related to love, sex, and relationships.
 
Topics
02:40 Reflecting on 2025 and Looking Ahead to 2026
04:47 The Power of Pause and Measuring Success
07:18 Reflecting on Past Episodes and Guests
11:21 Discussing Relationships and Marriage
16:06 Dating Post-Divorce and Intimacy
26:12 Financial Planning and Divorce
34:11 End of Year Reflections and Future Plans
38:49 The Physical Benefits of Climax
39:22 Sexuality After Age 50
42:00 Gray Divorce and Sexuality
43:53 Misinterpretations in Human Sexuality
47:56 AI Companions and Relationships
50:25 Reality TV and Marriage
54:12 Politics and Love
57:13 Advice for Different Ages
59:03 Communication in Relationships
01:02:09 Rituals to Keep Chemistry Alive
01:07:56 Famous Quotes on Love and Sex

'Outwitting the Manipulator’ Authors Robin Golinski & Dennis Becker

Evan is joined by communication experts Dr. Dennis Becker and Robin Golinski, co-authors of 'Outwitting the Manipulator.' The episode delves into recognizing and responding to manipulation in real-time, particularly within the context of high-conflict divorces and everyday relationships. Topics include common manipulation tactics such as gaslighting and love bombing, managing post-divorce parenting, and the significance of premarital counseling. The podcast also features a discussion on handling manipulation from leadership in the workplace and offers practical advice for those dealing with manipulators. The episode concludes with the fun segment 'They Said It,' where Evan and guests analyze famous quotes related to manipulation.
More on Robin & Dennis at https://www.outwitinrealtime.com/
Find Outwitting the Manipulator: The Podcast at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/outwitting-the-manipulator/id1644706232
Topics
02:39 Holiday Struggles During Divorce
05:48 Co-Parenting During the Holidays
11:18 Life After Divorce: Remarriage and Moving On
13:06 Overrated or Underrated: Fun and Legal Topics
24:06 Interview with Dr. Dennis Becker and Robin Golinski 
36:51 Understanding Manipulative Personalities
37:34 Can Manipulators Change?
38:15 Manipulation Tactics in the Workplace
39:29 Mastering Skills to Handle Manipulation
43:11 Manipulation in High Conflict Divorces
44:17 Communicating with a Manipulative Ex
47:06 Spotting Manipulation in Legal Cases
59:09 Quotes on Manipulation
01:04:32 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

‘Strung Out’ Author Erin Khar

Evan dives into the complexities of divorce and addiction with featured guest Erin Khar, author of 'Strung Out'. The episode covers Erin's personal journey through a 15-year heroin addiction, her approach to recovery, and her advice on navigating relationships plagued by substance abuse. The conversation also touches on broader societal issues, such as the stigma around addiction and the flawed family court system. Listeners will find practical advice on handling the holiday season amidst divorce, the nuances of parental alienation claims, and thoughts on cultural phenomena like Taylor Swift. The episode concludes with an engaging segment featuring quotes from notable figures and a lively discussion on the underrated cranberry sauce.
 
Topics
00:15 Divorce and the Holiday Season
05:26 AI Relationships and Legal Challenges
12:04 Overrated or Underrated: Pop Culture Edition
23:14 Interview with Erin Khar: Addiction and Recovery
36:15 Addressing Skeptical Senators on Harm Reduction
36:47 The Economic Argument for Medicated Assisted Treatment
39:05 Personal Reflections on Writing a Memoir
40:40 The Dichotomy of Heroin Use
43:39 The Unwinnable War on Drugs
45:41 Advocating for Harm Reduction and Community Support
50:51 Balancing Advice and Personal Experience
52:51 Lessons from Beverly Hills 90210
54:40 Changing the Language Around Addiction
56:31 Parenting and Personal Accountability
01:14:05 The Importance of Sharing Your Story
01:19:36 Final Thoughts and Reflections